This last week my great aunt Nedra passed away. My mom and dad are still gone so it was up to Kristin and I to attend the funeral (I would have anyway). I loved my Aunt for so many reasons, she had FIRE RED hair (just like me) and a personality that is unforgettable. She was a sister to my Grandma Hodge, who I was VERY close to and very much alike. The funeral was beautiful but so emotional, I think that I cried harder at that funeral then I did at my own grandma's. Even as I sit here, I am tearing up thinking about it. I think part of the reason that it was so hard is because I must have felt safe to cry. With my mom not being there I think in some small way I felt like I didn't NEED to be strong, I know it's crazy but ever since my sister died, I feel like I need to NOT let my mom and dad see me cry, because it only makes them cry and I HATE to see them hurt so bad that they are crying. I also feel like at my own Grandma's funeral there were so many emotions that went along with that. She had dimensia and alzheimers, so at the time of her death, she hadn't really been her true self for quite a while. Listening to all the stories at my aunt Nedra's funeral reminded me so very much of my grandma. Here is why I loved her.
She wasn't your ordinary grandmother who knits or makes anything really, but she would make sure that I had everything I wanted!
She ALWAYS had chocolate...ALWAYS, in fact, chocolate was a food group to her. We could go to a restaurant and she would pick at her dinner, but the minute desert came so did her appetite!
If kids were being mean to her grandkids, she would tell them that she would beat them with her cane AND SHE MEANT EVERY WORD!!!
She was funny, she always could make me laugh.
She yelled at the cops when they pulled her over...something that I have been known to do.
She was a dreamer! We always talked about getting a red sports car and driving anywhere we wanted to go. It should be noted that the first car I purchased for myself, was red.
She ALWAYS made microwave popcorn before going to bed. To this day stale microwave popcorn is SOOOO good!
She loved to drive. It really was hard to watch her abilities leave her, and then to finally see my mom take away her license.
She always wore bright red lipstick. Always!
(After she died, when we got to the mortuary, something just wasn't right, as soon as I saw her, I turned around and asked the mortician if they had any different colored lipstick, (they had put a pink one on her and it just wasn't right, much better after they added the red)
She called me Missy. There are only 5 people in the world who call me that. Both sets of grandparents, and my DAD!
She always believed that she would win the publishers clearinghouse sweepstakes!
She LOVED to gamble, but only at the nickel machines. Before her and my grandpa died I got the privelage of driving them both to Wendover, it really was one of my funnest trips.
She was a great listener. Any time I needed to talk about ANYTHING, I talked to her, I still do sometimes.
Any cat my mother ever owned she named Hermie, my mom's cat's were never named hermie. Maybe she just couldn't remember their names or maybe she just really liked the name Hermie.
She loved getting strawberry milkshakes at McDonalds, they were the cure all!
She would buy a present for Christmas or your birthday, but by the time it came around, she had forgotten all about it, and bought more! Something that I also have done.
She called sunglasses her dark glasses.
She was not afraid to tell someone to go to hell! Something I also have done, on more then one occasion :)~
She would tell people that she was taking them out of the will, but never me for some reason, I was always in the will.
When things got expensive, she would make comments like, Oh C'mon, I've got money Bud hasn't even spent yet! (I guess she figured since he wouldn't spend it...she would and she did)
She loved to go for a ride, it didn't matter where you were going.
She always made me and Amy and Kristin sing Love one another while she hummed along loudly and out of tune!
She loved to listen to Kristin play the piano, (So do I)
She was fun. I loved her, I still do.
Being at her sister's funeral last week, just reminded me so much of her. Many of the stories they told, included her because they were close. And when they got together...oh how they laughed!!! And they laughed so hard, that it didn't matter if you knew what they were laughing about or not, you couldn't help yourself but to just laugh right along with them.
Early last week, I had a dream. When I woke up, I realized I had been crying in my sleep. In my dream, Emma and I were sitting under a tree at a park watching the boys play. I was just talking to Emma and I looked over and saw my grandma. She looked just like I remember from when I was really little. In my dream I remember her just watching me play with Emma. I remember hearing someone calling her name, she looked at me one more time and smiled, then she got up and walked away (without her cane.) As I mentioned before, I had been crying in my sleep. I miss my grandma, I miss her for all of her funny quirky things that she said, and I miss her because she loved me. Every single time I was with her, I knew I was special. I hope that she is having a great reunion in Heaven with her sister, and also mine.
